The past couple of days have been extraordinarily dull. I get up and have breakfast, go to work and comeback. Day in day out, all the same, nothing has changed, until today. I have decided to take matters into my own hands and make my day exciting again.

I woke up today same as I do any other, reluctant and grumpy. It all changes when I shower, from the drain a sea serpent lunges at me. It coils itself around me and tries to take my face off with its needle like teeth. It makes me into the shower door a few times, I almost lose consciousness, but I grab hold of my dollar store luffa and beat the living crap out of it.

My normal gloomy morning meal tastes so much sweeter when eaten in the holly depth of a Tibetan monastery, high atop a majestic mountain. The cluck of the bamboo fountain echoing thought the stone and into my inner self transports me out of this body and into another dimension filled with breakfast foods I never dreamed possible, Bacon wrapped waffle cakes, chicken shaped soft-boiled eggs where the yolk tasted like honey-dew melon on a hot summer day. The coffee is still crap, but you can’t have everything in nirvana.

Going to work is a little more exciting now that the roads periodically spew columns of magma high into the air. The stones that fall are animate and run after my car screaming in pain because it is much too cold for their comfort. They only seem to chase the cars and not the people walking on the sidewalk. Engines are nice and warm, though I notice they leave all the Hybrids alone.

The first half of my work day was spent hacking the Under-net (deep web). My fingers moved like lighting across a Tesla coil, I had to stop the onslaught of foreign forces. They put up a good fight but in the end I won the black market bid war on an exercise bike, the Illuminati always have some crazy deals. A bit of double deal antique shopping always gives me a hefty appetite.

The last half of the day was solely used to help N.A.S.A. lad the first international house of pancakes on mars. It to a lot out of me, if I had slept though one more lesson of advanced Astor-trigonometry I would have crashed the whole thing into Canada. Luckily I didn’t watch every episode of power rangers that semester.

The ride home was a quiet one, all of the magma monster must have migrated to misty meadow for the night. Dinner was uneventful; too, I think the mountain went back to Tibet. Well I can’t wait for tomorrow’s adventure.

-George

By: Solace

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