It Is Only A Game

“Alright men, before we head out to battle I have something to tell you,” Cas says. He looks around at the motley crew eagerly waiting their orders. Doc fin with his black eye, Jacob reading a book, Andy drawing on his shirt, little Ted Farms adjusting his hearing aid, and Mat Webb the six foot twelve year old looking up at the clouds. “Some of you won’t make it out alive, but I will.”

He turns, picking up his weapon, and heads to the center of the battlefield. Teller waits, her own weapon in hand, with the referee. Fifteen big red balls, identical to the one held by the team captains, lie on the center line of the field. The referee reads out the rules of battle.

“My name is Earl, and I’ll be overseeing today’s game. Since this is Dodge-X and you’re all a bunch of adults, well except for Mat ̶ I mean look at him.” Earl waves at the twelve year old giant. “Anyhow,  the rules are simple: leg shots are two points, chest or back are five, head shots are ten, Frisbee over the goal posts is 20, and making it in any of the three buckets behind them scores 50 points. Remember no crossing out of your team’s area or you will be eliminated. Cost your team a total of 50 points in a row, you will be eliminated. I think we are all aware what a foul is, so don’t do it. Score one hundred in the in the first four minutes and your team gets the Frisbees early. First team to four hundred wins.”

Both captains shake hands and place their balls on the center line. There is a little trash talk, but it ends when the referee reprimands them. They walk back over to their teams and begin their planning.

“Ladies and gents, welcome to Kal’s first annual game of Doge-X.” Allan says into a megaphone. “Today we have boys Vs girls and let me tell you things are going to get nasty. On the blue side we have Team Hell Hound!”

The audience screams with excitement, Edgar claps and asks “it sounds like we have a few Hell Pups in the stands, doesn’t it Allan?”

“Is that what the fans call themselves?”

“I have no idea.”

“And on the red side you have,” Allan squints at his paperwork. “I’m sorry ladies and gents, it looks like we have a typo here, all it says is The Boys.”

“That’s our team name!” Cas yells out from the red side.

“Casanova that is the lamest team name ever.” Allan says into the megaphone.

“Do you think this will ruin His chances for the MVP at the end of the season?” Edgar asks.

“It won’t help any, I can tell you that.”

“Oh and there goes the whistle. Wow the girls sure are ready to win. Captain Teller made it to the line of scrimmage before anyone else.”

Teller tosses six balls back to her team before any of the boys make it to the center line. Right away Doc Fin and Ted get hit in the legs. The wind catches Patricia’s skirt, causing Mat to miss a throw at Teller. Jacob screams at the referee, who is too busy waiting for another gust to listen.

“I wonder if that’s legal.” Allan calls out to the crowd, their whoops and hollers tell him it should be.

“Look at that, Camilla and Dahlia Fox have just scored the first hundred for the team, you know what that means audience!”

“FRISBEE TIME!”

Allan stands up and, using a modified crossbow, launches four Frisbees at the girl’s side. Teller and Dahlia leap in to the air, catch a disk each, and throw them toward the buckets on the other end of the field before landing. Cas catches one before it crosses the goal post and throws it back.

“What a move by The Boys team captain. It’s now one-fifty to seventy-four. The reds have some catching up to do.”

The crowd gives a collective groan of pain as a dodge ball bounces off of Dahlias face. But without missing a beat she sends her own crashing into Mat Webb’s head, knocking him over and giving the others an easy target for elimination. The six foot tween runs off the field in tears.

“The Boys are one man down and losing ground, oh wait a minute.” Edgar jumps to his feet. “It’s the first foul of the game. Patricia knocked Jacob on the nuts with a Frisbee. Is the ref going to… yes he is, he has taken out a yellow card, and we all know what that means right?”

Everyone sitting in the bleachers behind him shake their heads, “oh well it means she cannot throw a ball at the opposing team for five minutes. All she can do is pass what she catches, but can still get hit for points.”

The referee repeats what he just heard to the two teams and proceeds with the game. Patricia take full advantage of her penalty, she runs head on into a throw and catches the ball while her team mates launch their attack.

“Ladies and gents, we are a mere ten points away from awarding a victor. Three-ninety to three fifty, girls leading. Allan have you ever seen such a close Doge-X game?”

“No I haven’t Edgar, this is the first one.”

“Point taken.”

Both teams are playing defense, now that eight Frisbees are in play, it’s all blocks and bucket shots. Then from out of nowhere team The Boys send an onslaught of rubber at the girls. All except for Cas, who shoots a Frisbee high. Distracted the girls don’t see the disk drifting toward their goal post. But the disk dings the post and falls back into the playing field.

“OH! What an upset for team The Boys.” Allan shouts.

“You think that’s bad? They are out of balls and down to one last Frisbee, everything else is in the possession of Team Hell Hound.”

The boys watch as the girls decide which way they want to win. Ted grunt stubbornly and launches the last Frisbee toward the buckets, only to have it knocked out of the sky by Camila.

“So this is it, the war is over for us?” Andy asks. “how are we going to die then?”

“We line up and let it come.” Ted says.

“Andy, before I die, I have to tell you. I kissed teller.”

“Did she give you that black eye?”

“Yes.”

“You stand at the front then.”

“That’s fair, I guess.” The team agrees and proceed to hide behind Doc Fin. He shakes as the girls prepare their last attack. “Guys if I pass out―”

“Don’t talk like that Fin,” Ted says.

“No, if I pass out, please don’t draw penises on my face.”

“Hey man, all’s fair if you pass out.” Jacob says.

“Yeah, we would expect the same if one of us went out.” Cas agrees.

“I’m going to draw a dog humping your ear.” Ted Says.

A whistle blows, and the crowd cheers, the boys look up to see Team Hell Hound celebrating. They decided to score a bucket shot, making the loss that much more devastating.

“What a game, ladies and gents it’s over. The Hell Hounds are the first team to win at Kal’s annual Dodge-X games.” Edgar says, adding “tune in later for out interviews with the team.”

“That will be fun,” Allan says.

“From Kal field, this is Edgar,”

“And this is Allan.”

The two put the megaphones down and run on the field to celebrate with their friends.