Hello friends, Jacob here. This week we are doing something a little different, instead of the regular letter from solace or myself we thought we would do a kind of Q&A since he can’t hold a pen right now and I hate taking dictation. Wait this is still dictation, damn it.
S: hello folks, old solace here a bit worse for wear. I think the first thing I want to say is that a few hours after I was found a search party went back out and located teller. She is doing much better now since she, unlike me, had a better head and didn’t drink the sea water.
J: we are all glad to know that you are okay, Thoughts of a Thinker would not be the same without our carless leader.
S: you mean fearless, right?
J: the first question on all our minds has to be, how did all this happen?
S: well when we set off I didn’t think it was going to be too difficult to travel by water as long as we stayed fairly close to land. The sea had another plan; as soon as it could it dragged us out. From then on we battled the sun, the waves, starvation and a storm you wouldn’t believe.
J: why would the sun make it more difficult?
S: it sucks the water right out of you. We would risk dipping ourselves into the water to cool off but it made things worse. I dried out much faster than Teller [Lumba tribe’s woman] but poor girls lips were bleeding by the fourth day. We collected as much water as we could during the storm but the little boat was tossed around like short story idea.
J: in one of the last letters I received from you, you had written that Penn [the vulture] had brought back food, why didn’t he just keep flying back.
S: (laughing) that food was more problems than anything else. He brought us a baby Albatross, still alive, with the momma bird on his tail. The coward dropped it in my lap and flew off. When the Mother swooped in to try and grab the little one she flipped the boat over and we took another dip. She tore at the bottom of the boat to get to us but eventually gave up and flew off.
J: did you eat the baby bird?
S: of course not, that whole night it chirped for its mother, even Penn softened a bit and ruffled himself up to keep the little guy warm.
J: I was wondering why Penn had a new friend.
S: yeah not long after that, maybe a day or two, we were found.
J: what are your plans for finding the Journal thief?
S: fist off I need to get a passport so I can fly; this whole turn of the millennia way of traveling is a pain.
J: we actually have a question from a reader; Casey said he would sort through them and send us the best question. Carol Q. from Caribou, Maine asks “BOOBS!”
S: that doesn’t even have a question mark.
J: that’s not even a sentence; Andy the Editor would have a heart attack.
S: in answer to your question Carol Q. from Caribou, Maine, yes, no, only at the full moon and PENIS!
J: well put solace. Well friends, a few questions were answered, I’m sure you have many more, but till… actually would you like to do the sendoff.
Thank you for taking the time to read and worry about this tattered and tired wordsmith. Please continue to be the sumptuous, stupendous, stunning spectators that you so tenderly are and have a look at the new installment of Black and White coming up on July 19th. If you haven’t been keeping up may Thoth take mercy on your poor decomposing minds… or just take a look at parts 1 2 3 and 4 before you peruse the new one. I’m glad I can still say this, till next time (insert sign off here).